Never be afraid to get dirty, but be sufficiently sure-footed to avoid the abyss of contamination.


I’m thinking of Martin Sheen in that first scene from Apocalypse Now, in which he totally trashes the room. Broken glass everywhere while The Doors’s Jim Morrison sings “The End” in the background: “All the children are insane. Waiting for the summer rain!”

In Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, it is revealed that it was Martin Sheen– not his character Marlowe… err Captain Willard– who actually lost it, and Coppola just kept on filming.

What do you do when there’s no functional way to direct the anger? Do you break the glass mirror and weather seven years of bad luck, not to mention the bloodied hand? Or do you just push it in deeper, hoping that there are few casualties when the disaster eventually occurs? It’s a mistake to think that we are in full control of our emotions, and the disaster WILL eventually happen. The most you can hope for is to control the shape it takes, and even that may be hoping for too much.

Whenever and however it happens, like a natural disaster, it will leave some damage in its path while simultaneously dissipating a tension that once existed. Some people call that catharsis, but feel free to replace it with its equivalent earthquake, volcano, or forest fire analogy.


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