Never be afraid to get dirty, but be sufficiently sure-footed to avoid the abyss of contamination.

El Snooze

A student arrives twenty minutes late to his morning Spanish class:

Profesora: ¿Por qué estás tarde? ¿Estabas fumando?

Estudiante: ¿Cómo?

Profesora: SMOKING!

Estudiante: OH! No.

Profesora: ¿No tienes un reloj?

Estudiante: ¿Cómo?

Profesora: A CLOCK!

Estudiante: OH… sí, pero yo pongo el snooze.

All right, I’ve pressed that snooze button one too many times this week. It’s so large and so tempting, and that noise my alarm makes is awful. Let’s switch the alarm to radio. That should do the trick.

(Next morning) * Oh, who’s that? Oh yeah, I set the alarm to radio. See, this works. Let me just listen to it in bed for a few minutes. * (Two hours later) WHOA!

Okay, this didn’t work. Time for a new plan. Tonight, I’m turning over a new leaf: early to bed, early to rise, early birds and worms, worming my way out of bed, escaping the biting bed bugs, stop bugging me and give me ten more minutes, and push that snooze button on the way out.

Hmm… maybe I can trick myself by turning the clocks forward a bit.

(Next morning) OH! I’m late. Hold on a sec. I set the clocks ahead. It worked! Problem solved. Triumphant victory dance.

(Next morning) * Hey, what? Oh yeah, the clocks are ahead. I can still sleep a bit longer. * (Two hours later) Yeah, yeah… I think I have a solution, though. Multiple clocks timed a few minutes apart. My cell phone has an alarm feature. I’ll set it to 7:00, and adjust the alarm clock from 7:00 to 6:55.

(Next morning) * Who’s calling? Ah, I’ll just let it go to voice mail. * (Three hours later) HUH?! Why didn’t my other alarm go off? Wait… 6:55 PM!?!?!?!

All right, it’s time to sleep, and I give up. Does this story have a moral? Maybe it’s this: the tired brain can be as effective at getting what it wants as the alert one since the tired brain just wants to sleep.

See you at noon!

2 responses

  1. set the alarm clock to its loudest and most irritating & put it on the other side of the room. then you have to get up to get it!

    August 25, 2008 at 1:05 pm

  2. unclekrish

    Tried and failed… I just go to the other side of the room, push the snooze button, and then walk back to bed.

    August 25, 2008 at 1:14 pm

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